Accept the Invitation to Wonder

I spend a lot of times in a state of wonder.  I wonder why you did the thing(s) you did.  I wonder why you approached the problem the way you did.  I wonder what you are/were thinking?

For the things that I see outside myself, wonder can either lead to frustration or engagement.

The path to frustration comes from trying to understand something I cannot.  Like the those who consciously hurt others.  I wonder what makes them do it, but it is not something that my sense of understanding can comprehend.  I try to fit the idea with all its jagged edges into my round hole of rationalism and what the world should look like.  It doesn’t look that way, so I don’t understand.  And if I allow myself to stay there, I end up in frustration.

The path to engagement is a twist on the path to frustration because on my way there, I must suspend my own judgments and my opinions of how it should be.  On the path to engagement, I ask questions and I look for explanation, for supporting reasons, for evidence.  I may try out my understanding to determine if I’m making sense of things, the way they were intended.  I seek confirmation.  My graduate school training has led me to this type of wonder.  To developing a hypothesis and rationale and looking for evidence by which I develop and test my theory.  It makes wonder a pretty type A behavior and honestly, takes the magic out of it.

But in all the ways I’ve wondering and in all the things that I’ve wondered about, I was never invited to wonder about myself.  What would I be like if I’d not had a family?  What would I be doing now?  What gets me excited?  What if I did things differently tomorrow than I’ve ever done them before?  What if?

And if I wonder about myself, I also wonder about the world around me and that if I was different, what else would be.  I wonder!

In the days leading up to yesterday’s Power Ball drawing, which no one won, I talked to my daughter about the things that she would do if she were to win.  She talked about the practical.  She talked about the purchases.  I allowed myself to wonder.  How would my world be different if I didn’t have to worry about any of the things that I’ve worried about the past 35 years?

If my world was different, would I be different?  I wonder!

What is at the core of who I am that would stay with me, regardless of the circumstances surrounding me? How would I be seen by others then, as opposed to now? If that person is who I am in my essence, then isn’t to worthwhile acknowledging that person today?

It’s not about finding frustration that I’m not yet or always that person, it is about engaging that person in today’s reality and then wondering, what if!

Open your mind today and allow yourself to wonder!