To be
In your arms
I breathe
I unfold in a space
That gives me wings
I fly
Through dreams yet unimagined
And hope expands beyond me
I fall…
You catch me
And yet
I am free
To be
Fearful Dreams
Last night
I reached for you
To rub your legs
The way you like
And with your sigh
My body relaxed
Then jolted and burned with fear
For you weren’t there
But rather the nightmare of my past
And my dream turned
From light to dark
Fearful
That even alone
I will never be free
But always haunted
I am
I am
What I hope
To be what I dare
To dream beyond my vision
I move mountains
In my mind they are small
Obstacles as stones
Easily cast aside
I dance
With energy unbounded
On feet that skim gracefully
And glisten,
In awesome shoes
I can move and become
What I wish and where
For I am free
To hope and dream
And to create
What I am
Don’t put off happiness
I used to put off happiness because I thought there was a quota. That I was only allowed so much. And I was SO wrong!
When I looked at a plate of food, I wouldn’t eat the food I liked the most, I’d save it for last. Eating all those things I liked less, first.
When I would go on a business trip we’d always planned one night of fun, and it would always be the last night. That way, we could look forward to it. The problem was, by the last night, everyone would be too tired to really have fun.
I approached doing something that made me happy like there was a limit on happiness.
Big Ah-Ha!
Being happy today doesn’t mean that I can’t be happy tomorrow!! Enjoying this moment doesn’t mean that I won’t enjoy the next.
The other shoe doesn’t always have to drop….or if it does, may be it’s to dance in stilettos or run barefoot in the sand.
There doesn’t have to be a limit on happiness! Don’t put it off. Soak it up. Drink it in. This moment and the next and the next. They all await our embrace.
Adulthood and Divorce
We are born as helpless infants. For the next 18 years we grow and mature and on our 18th birthday, we are adults. At that point, our parents can pack our bags, wish us well, show us the door, and never be held legally or financially responsible for us. Our 18-year-old selves on our own to fend for ourselves. We can’t go back to court and ask that our parents be forced to house, feed, and clothe us.
So why is it that in most states, Florida being one, after 18 years of marriage, one adult can be legally forced to house, feed, and clothe the other adult? How can that be?
Is the older adult less capable of caring for him or herself than an 18-year-old? What hogwash have politicians bought into?
The Remembering Process is a must read
I remember reading The Remembering Process by Daniel Barrett and Joe Vitale and I remembered that it made so much sense and that I really enjoyed it. I remember that it was the key that unlocked the blinds that were keeping me from seeing my future.
The Remembering Process is an easy to read, crafty and creative guide to envisioning the future. Instead of wishing for the things that you want and instead of setting deadlines and goals, the remembering process is a playful look at remembering your way to the life you love and want to create. The steps take a fun twist on The Secret and other programs for envisioning the future. The roadmap is allowed to be fuzzy and it is developed by being creative. The process takes place in the future, where you imagine that the thing that you want has occurred and then you work backwards to remember how you arrived at that desired outcome. An ingenious play on time, recognizing that the past, present and future all happen simultaneously and that if we can remember it in the present, then the series of events that lead to the outcome happened in some future past. And we can remember how we got there.
The Remembering Process also holds true to the idea that if we desire that we will accomplish something, then we are also acknowledging that the thing we desire does not exist. This creates a disconnect that is often difficult to overcome. Far easier to remember how we got there.
While the book followed a nice back and forth between the two authors, most of the examples centered on the process as applied to the writing of the book or the writing and recording of music. I would have enjoyed a broader range of examples. With that minor point in mind, I definitely recommend this book. It is well worth the enjoyable read!
FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. I was not financially compensated for this post. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product.
Unleashed
Free me
My mind
Unleash the restraints
They choke back each word I strain to utter
Let me wake in a place
Without boundaries
I will stretch my muscles
Cautious
Fearing the yank on my leash sure to come
Each step forward, becomes bolder
Each step stronger
More sure, not of where, but that I can
That I must
The growth takes work
But beauty out of the chrysalis
My mind, unleashed
What percent of your life are you living?
What percent of your life are you living? As I scrambled through my morning I asked my self that question. I have to admit, at this second while I’m writing this, it feels like less than 50%. There are times it only feels like 10% and sometimes it gets to be higher. But I feel like its an excellent question to ask myself and to take stock of the things that I am doing and the choices that I’m making.
The question came to mind when I woke up late and then rushed through my morning routine, shower, contacts, walk the dogs, feed the dogs, fill my water bottle….and out the door. Then, the morning commute was less than eventful, which could be a good thing, but was conscious numbing none the less. Arriving at work I thought about all the possible things that I could be engaging in, none of which I was. Options that would be far more “exciting” or energizing. Options that would make me feel alive. So I tried to quantify it. What percent am I living? Sadly, it was a 10% moment.
So why? Why was I having a 10% moment? What am I not doing that I’d like to? How can I change that? I came up with 4 ideas.
1. Engage with commitments rather than numbing through them. – This is actually a big thing. If I can engage with my commute, my checking of email, my dog walks, etc. I can be present and get the most out of them. If I mentally check out of whatever I’m doing, it takes away any potential for joy. If I engage, even in the most routine activities, then I can live them. Try it. Seriously! It makes even the worst things a part of your life, rather than background noise.
2. Pick at least 1 thing each day that I will bring my whole passion to – The thing that I chose this morning was to completely engage with the evaluations I was doing. Sad to admit that I sometimes glaze over through these meetings, but it makes me feel far more connected to the people I work with. The other thing I chose to bring my passion to, was writing this post. (I hope you enjoy it.) But if I accept that I love to tell my story, then why not enjoy it….the story AND the telling of it. I mean really! Hiding it is such a shame and really shortchanges me of the joy!
3. Choose at least 1 thing each day to give to the universe – What don’t I want to or need to do? Pick something. It can be big or it can be small. It just can’t be something that gives you joy. Why would you want to give that up? Today, I decided to let other people deal with their own concerns. Rather than assisting them and calming their nerves, giving my energy to them…I gave it to the universe and let them own the issue. So far, I find it a much easier strategy.
4. Imagine what my engaged life looks and feels like – Daydreaming can be a very positive activity. I don’t mean that I’m checking out of the events around me, but I’m consciously taking time, from 30 seconds to longer, to envision what my current situation, ideally imagined would look like. I put myself into that place. I remember the steps that I took to get there. It’s pretty cool…some people call it living as if.
There are other strategies that have crossed my mind, but these are my big 4 for now. I know that I’ll expose them at a later time. So with that said, I have some emails to answer and a pile of papers to sort…and I will live every second it takes to get it done!
I kept the monsters nipping at my heels
I don’t always have great days. In fact, the last 36 hours have been a bit of a bear, and yes, that included Mother’s Day. But the things that would have previously grown to be monster’s living under my bed or for that matter what I just knew would grow to start the real zombie apocalypse, well, I took the fuel away, and didn’t fuel the fire. Instead, of letting them grow, I kept them nipping at my heals.
Since early yesterday it was one thing after another. An argument. Someone trying to one up and get the best of me….put me down….challenge me…on purpose. An old demon rearing his ugly head. Make that two demons. Emails in the middle of the night that screamed for action, and yes, I jumped and answered before 5 a.m. Back to back meetings. Messed up parking. One thing after the next, after the next.
Many of these things would have previously caused me to complain about everything that was occurring….to me. I would have become angry, upset, spread the story and ruined my day….or days. Stringing the negative actions together, they would feed each other.They would grow larger together than any one of them really was, alone.
But this morning, I fought the urge! I kept asking, “What lesson can I learn from this?” and “What can I see that’s good in this situation or my life right now?” I kept asking these questions and looking for answers, writing them down. It didn’t happen all at once, but it didn’t actually take that long…a miracle happened. I changed to way I was thinking about the things that were going on….and as a result, they lost their power!
I feel fortunate that I remembered asking myself these questions. I am grateful that I chose to look at the situation through the eyes of love. I was happy I had enough time to devote to the process to turn my attitude around. It didn’t keep unfortunate things from occurring, but it did remove their bite.
It is one thing to read about approaching problems this way and it is another thing to go through it, to live through it….to put it into action and to have it work! Yay!! I have to say that I’m so proud of myself, for remembering the words from the mentors who I know either personally or through their written or spoken words. This shit works! It really works! Not only did the monsters not grow, but they aren’t even nipping at my heels.
What a perfectly lovely way to end the day!!
A breathe away
I’m a breathe away
From where you are
A breathe away
From where I imagine
A breathe away from yesterday
And a breathe still away
From tomorrow.
I’m a breathe away
From my future
And yet I accept my breathe
From my past
I go forward in faith
For fear keeps breathe still
And I choose to breathe, in love
Tonight, tomorrow. I always will
© 2024
Barb Ridener
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