Bringing My “A” Game

We all have ups and downs.  Sometimes I think that I have more than most not ups or downs, but the length of time between the wave crests is far too short, at least for me.

Yesterday was one of the ups.  It was nothing short of miraculous.  It seemed that everything was in sync and the engine of my life was purring perfectly.  I should have guessed what today would be.  It wasn’t a down, but I certainly wasn’t on top of the wave that I was riding yesterday.  Once a friend said to me, “Remember how you feel at those top of the world times, and then you’ll be able to get it back.”  I’m not so sure that wisdom every became second nature to me, but here’s what I was able to realize today.

After yesterday’s high and the positivity hangover it left in its wake, my first problem was that I entered my morning with far to little sleep.  First lesson, sleep is essential.  Mind you, it wasn’t like I didn’t sleep on purpose, but wide awake at 3:50 a.m. after falling out about 11 makes me ready to pull the covers over my head at 6 a.m.  Ugh!  It really should have been my first clue.

My second clue should have been the lack of enthusiasm I took to my morning tasks.  The half-open eye lids and fairly dull senses didn’t help either, but when I began ticking off tasks with routine dullness or in some cases dread, well, it didn’t help my mood improve.

I am thankful that I caught my rising voice and blood pressure quickly when a meeting with a colleague revealed that she is undertaking a study to reduce her focus or accountability by 60%, so the tasks that remained with her could be covered in-depth.  Excuse me?  And that weight off your shoulders will go on ours?  Hmmm.. ..What might be the motivation?  My head was spinning but my mouth fell silent.  She is willing to study the tasks at hand, but we don’t have to accept the results of her findings or for that matter her tossed aside tasks.  At least that can be checked off as something positive that happened.

At the end of the day I convinced myself to get to the gym as I’d promised myself I would.  After all, the endorphins would help my mood improve.  I’m not so sure it was any kind of exercise high, but after about two and a half miles on the tread mill, it hit me.  I had trudged through the day as I was drudging along on the treadmill.  Oh I was doing it and I was trying to feel good about doing it, but what was missing was that I wasn’t giving it my all.  My A game was missing!

Damn!  That’s right.  It’s what I suddenly realized last week about playing small, I was trying to flat line my day.  I was trying to keep a steady pace and avoid the lows, but then I was also not hitting the highs.  So I increased the speed of the treadmill, lifted the incline, and wouldn’t you know it, extra mood improvement.

What does it mean to bring my A game?  It means to be prepared.  It means to be fully present.  It means to look at the options and make decisions.  It means to actively and consciously give my best to everything that I’m doing.  Will I always make the right decision or have success?  Of course not.  But I will be engaged.  So next time that I find myself less than enchanted with the tasks at hand and feel my focus drifting and my attitude waining, I’m going to remember my A game and step up the intensity.  I think that my life deserves nothing less!