Day 16 (7WJ) – It’s Only as Bad as I Let It Be

Last night, I went to sleep feeling sad and depressed. A few years ago, that type of feeling would have sent me into a downward spiral. It’s the feeling of alone and lonely. It’s the feeling of things not working out. It’s the feeling that you know you are down and don’t know what to do to turn it around.

Thank God it’s not a few years ago!

I thought about how interesting it was to feel the way I did. I had not had a bad day. I had done some shopping. I was getting ready for a trip. I spent time with my daughter. And yet, I felt down. So, I went to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, the feeling was gone. I wasn’t necessarily chipper…the cat had knocked a hat onto the ground for the dog to chew on. He (the cat) had also moved much of the things on my counter including a heavy wire basket. He really is very strange and I never know what I will wake up to.

Ok, back to the point. I woke up and no longer was down and on top of it, I had a couple of insights that will help me in the future.

First, there was nothing wrong with me for getting down. Everyone does from time to time. I wasn’t broken or defective. It just happened to be an emotion. Ok, may be in part it was also a reaction to the sad movie I watched.  What is it with Nicholas Sparks?  I’m not sure it was his movie, but it sure seemed like one. …long lost loves reunite, rekindle flame, one of them dies. Nice until it leaves you wishing things had been different, even though they weren’t. My daughter calls movies that end that way the “worst movie(s) ever.

Second, the problem isn’t being down, the problem is caused when I stay there. If I woke up this morning and thought about that sad feeling and fell into self-pity or self reprimand because I felt that way. That would have caused a problem and it would have continued the negative emotions. I also didn’t use the emotion as an excuse to post “woe is me” prose on Facebook or to send a poor little old me message to a friend. I didn’t feed it and the feeling passed.

It’s nice to still feel like I’m learning things that help me out. It’s nice not to feel stuck or like a victim. It’s nice to know I’m not broken. It’s nice to know that I can move forward today being happy.