I’ve been away

Well, not really!

Several months ago, I got really ambitious and I changed this blog around.  Then I went away.  Not really away, but away from the blog.  It’s not that I didn’t want to write, I did.  I’d come to the page, I’d sit and think and be poised to put wonderful thoughts to paper. (or computer) And yet…nothing.  Well, sometimes there’d be something.  But, I wasn’t impressed.  In fact, I was SO not impressed that I’d save it as a draft or delete it.  The act was certainly setting my world on fire or making me remotely happy.

I tried over and over.  Still nothing!

It took me a long time to figure it out, to figure out why.  And finally I realized that the image that I’d developed, or tried to, just wasn’t me! It was SO much not me that I couldn’t bring myself to be a part of my own discussion.  I was away….

Well damn!  Isn’t it amazing what happens when you get rid of the crap and open up to yourself again!!  I have gotten rid of the “not me” parts…and suddenly I feel like I have my voice again.  It feels like waking up to glorious sunshine!

How many times do we do that and how far do we go down the rabbit hole before we realize that we aren’t in a place we recognize anymore?  I say we, but I mean I…and may be, you are like me.

I see someone, something and I think, “Oh, that looks cool! I should do that.  I should be like that!”

I’ve read many times that “success leaves breadcrumbs.”  And, “do what other successful people do.”

But if the breadcrumbs don’t feel real, and the breadcrumbs aren’t a part of who I am already, well, I’m not sure they are also a part of where I’m going, what I’m becoming, who I want to be.  Time to enjoy my own ride!