Letting go. But of what?

Yesterday, I was driving to work and thinking about all the wonderful things that are happening.  Many opportunities are unfolding and many doors are opening.  That feeling of possibility is one that I want to hold onto.  I was driving along and feeling such hope and such promise, that I started crying.  Now I’m sure that’s not the best thing to happen when driving in heavy traffic, but it was all good and I felt like the world was opening and unfolding.

At one stop I was able to jot the note, “your mess is your message.”  These words a friend once told me and in that second they meant a lot to me.

But, here’s the point…then I continued in traffic and then I got to work.

So….what was I so joyfully crying about?  Unfortunately, right now I can’t really tell you.  The day became so damn busy that it all faded away.  Now, it was a fairly productive day so all was not lost, but I can’t remember what I was thinking in a way that made me so happy and brought me such joy.  I can’t recapture that feeling.

That brings me to my point.  I need to let go…of something!  I don’t know what I’d let go of, even though there is plenty!  But I want to let go of the thing or things that are filling my days and my head to suck the joy that was there…and even the idea of the joy, right out of me.

The thought came to me, that may be I need to find a way to hang onto the joy through the clutter.  May be that would serve me better…but my gut tells me not.  My gut tells me that I need to let go of periphery so I can focus and enjoy.

In some ways, its like school, learning say math or history.  I can hang onto the ideas short-term but unless I have something that I encounter on a regular basis…they just go!  How many of you could revisit a calculus lesson and work the problems without trouble?  I know that I can’t…a fact that irritates my daughter to no end.  But I don’t use them in the day-to-day and have nothing to connect it to.

I think that joy is like that.  If we can’t connect it to our day-to-day and we clutter it out…then it goes.  So, I’m making more room for it to connect.  I think that’s a good idea.  Don’t you?