My Smoke Detector Theory

I know this is probably a very strange post to jump back into writing. But, when the smoke detector decides it’s going to announce that its batteries are getting low…at 4 am…well, isn’t writing a post a natural segue?

So, I have a few theories about this necessary but annoying device because right now, it’s not making my list of friends.

1. It tweets its announcement in the middle of the night…you know the one… bleep……………BLEEP………….BLEEEEEEEP! and then silence. It does this to cause me disruption and get my attention. It doesn’t start this crap in the middle of the day, or even the early evening when I could do something about it. It’s when I’m sound asleep. After staying up late. And taking melatonin to help me with getting to sleep. I guess that was a waste of a tablet!
2. It is a sneaky son-of-a-bitch designed to piss me off. So of course, I check and have no necessary replacement batteries. (Sigh ?) BUT… it’s stopped so maybe it’s going to be ….BLEEP!…. ugh. No. It’s not going to be ok. It goes off at such random intervals that I’ve been lulled back to believing I can drift back to sleep. Ha! It’s evil. It just won’t let me.
3. It’s frequency is such that it sends a secret message to animals. Mine have gone from whining to anxious to hiding behind me… you would have thought they were sent a telepathic code that said the aliens were landing soon and coming specifically for them. Three dogs and two cats are all nervously clustered on my bed. Well, they were. Two still are. One can’t hear any more so I think he’s sleep through most and the cats ? well they are too cool to admit the might be bothered. But here they are, none the less.

So try as I might, sleep was no longer an option. What do you think of my theories? I think they are pretty sound! And I can prove it because the second I fall back asleep, it will certainly….BLEEP!!!!!