Sometimes, Life is an Experiment

I look back at the past week and its honestly a blur.  I remember feeling really awesome and I also remember feeling pretty crappy.  Yes, the ups and downs of life.  But that’s not really my point.  It’s that a group of days has been crossed off the calendar and I don’t know what I accomplished.  So, sometimes I think I need a swift kick in the ass.

I am quite skilled at beating myself up.  The proverbial kick in the ass.  Tough love.  Telling myself to suck it up, grow a pair, and get my butt in gear.  The problem with that strategy is that it just makes me feel bad.  It places blame on me.  And while it might work to change my actions in the short-term, it never really leads to substantial or long-term shifts in behavior.  So, I think its time that I try something different, I think I need to love myself enough to change.

How is loving myself enough to change different? Instead of making a list of the things that I must do, I’m going to make a list of those that I want to do.  A trip to Greece isn’t in my budget or a possibility for next week, so it won’t be on my list.  So, with my budget and time and other responsibilities in mind, I’m going to thoughtfully plan some key events that will get me at least a few of the things that I want over the next week.  I guess they are goals, but instead of things that I feel that I should do or have to do, these are activities that I want to do.  Trust me, for me, that’s new and different.

The other thing that I’m going to do is to carefully plan these actions. I mean that I’m going to plan them to the point of ridiculous.  For example, at 7 a.m. on Tuesday I am going to go to the gym.  I have to tell you, I hate this type of scheduling.  It makes my skin crawl to be that regimented. You may not find this odd, but given my approach to life, it’ll be doing a 180.  Usually, I just work really hard so I get everything done.  But it doesn’t build in time dedicated to my priorities.  So right now, I need the structure.  When I don’t create the framework, I have too much time that is open and flexible to play with.  That turns into letting any old urgent, and sometimes not so urgent, item bounce my intentions right out-of-the-way.  Then I end up looking back at my week and wondering where it went and what I got done.

So this girl is now going to love herself enough to try it differently at least for a while.  It’ll be an experiment….If I schedule my intentions and priorities for the next week, when the week has finished, will I look back and feel a greater sense of accomplishment then I do now?  I hope so!  I’ll do the research and let you know what I find out.