The Price of Security – Day 3 into 7WJ

If I think about what is most important to me, security would not make my top 10. Family, Happiness, Connection, yes – just not the word security. Never the less, I woke up this morning thinking about the illusion of security and how I have lived my life exchanging excitement and risk, for security, and vice versa.  The problem of this trade-off is that wherever I stand, the grass is always greener on the other side.

If I have security, which I do with my job, I definitely lack some excitement.  That is not to say that I haven’t made the best of it, but the day-to-day or month-to-month routine, actually sucks the life out of me.  Is that the price of security?  If I have excitement and risk, that is when I feel most alive but the trade-off in this case is that it can sometimes be exhausting.  It is a constant hustle to make ends meet and cover my bases.  May be that’s what life is about.  Like a sailboat I’m tacking against the wind and as I do, moving forward.

Today was not one that would rock the charts on the risk scale.  I started the day wanting to go to the beach.  Then I wanted to go to the beach after I walked.  Then I wanted to go after I got some work done.  Now…I want to go to the beach tomorrow.  May be the risk in this case is that I won’t get to go.  I chose instead to put my attention on some extra work that I picked up.  To get it submitted in order to have tomorrow free of obligation. HA! The best laid plans. Tonight, my AC is continually freezing and shutting off, dripping, restarting, and the cycle continues.  Tomorrow I may be trying to meet my maintenance man!  But I’d rather I have a working AC and not invite the beach indoors.  It is South Florida after all.

My daughter is counting down the days until she graduates, the days until she moves.  She trusts me to get the paperwork completed and submitted.  To get everything lined up.  Of course I don’t want to disappoint her but, do I really need that one more thing on my plate?  Or may be it’s 10?  I hate it when I can’t navigate websites easily to find out my to-do’s.  She said they are sending her emails.  I wonder if she believes me when I told her they don’t send them to me?

One more day to the long weekend!  I’m very happy because I don’t want to face going back to work just yet.  Unfortunately, it reminds me of a college friend who was killed in Afghanistan.  Senseless!  He was 40.  Wanted to serve.  Wanted to make extra money.  It’s crazy the things we do and the reasons why.  None the less, I thank him for all he did through the years, and all the others who serve.  They risk their safety and security for ours.  That’s quite a price to pay!