Today, I choose love

I have spent the last couple of days in New Orleans.  Oh, I’m sure it sounds pretty glamorous, but for me, not so much.  It has been a much-needed time for clearing and opening….or opening and clearing.

I went into this trip to give “my field” of mathematics education one last try, one last good effort, and the message I received was one that was stronger and more clear than I ever imagined.

The Monday night keynote titled, “The Coming Transformation of American Education: Implications for Mathematics Education” was as much of a warning and a eulogy as it was anything.  On one hand, I found it so sad and so depressing…and on the other hand, it was clear and confirming of what I already knew, that schools, teachers, and students are stressed out and over assessed.  That we are spending our time judging, setting a bar and pointing fingers, “not good enough…not good enough….you might be OK….you have to work harder….nope, definitely not good enough.”  We know what we aren’t, but do we know what we are trying to achieve, do we know what it would look like when we get there, when we are there?

So, I haven’t been “wild” in New Orleans, but rather spent the time in introspection.  Why the bars?  Why the judgments?  Is love enough?  Can love be enough?  And instead of setting another bar of enough to judge….just being.

Today, in my last 24 hours before I go home, I’m just going to be.  I’m choosing to love….to just love.  No bars (as in reaching a bar or goal), no judgments or expectations….today I choose to be…I choose love.