Waiting

I found that I was waiting.  How embarrassing is that?!  I was waiting for someone else to give me permission to live.  I was waiting for someone else to see me and say, “Hey!  That’s good work.  Have you thought about doing this next?”  I was waiting for those words.  In reality, I’ve probably been waiting all my life.

I find that the more I wait, the more I find myself craving certainty.  But with certainty, I get bored.  So the boredom pushes me to explore and try a new.

I fear being a disappointment and a failure.  I fear even more the thought of not getting approval and at the same time waiting…waiting and not living.

So, since I only really have to get approval from myself, I’m giving myself approval to stop waiting and to live.

It’s not about can’t. I’m all in.  No more waiting….